Why send a dick to Donald Trump?
A football player kneeling caused national outrage, cop violence became a daily occurrence, and violent clowns became a trend. To say 2016 has been a shit show is an understatement. However the most bizarre and frightening of headlines has been that the next president may be the most power hungry, immature, psychopathic piece of shit to ever walk the face of the earth.
Since the beginning of his campaign he's preached racism, ignorance, and misogyny. Trump rallies have become a place where people known for their love of NASCAR and fucking their cousins gather for a white power rally without calling it that. Anybody with a higher IQ than a potato knows the turd you took this morning is more qualified for commander in chief than he is. So what would a Trump presidency look like?
1) A nuclear holocaust started over a twitter war.
2) All American-born minorities being deported to their ethnicity’s homeland.
3) A revival of “The Celebrity Apprentice” for a shot at Vice President.
4) Facts are banned.
5) Forced unpaid maternity leave for all women in the work force despite them having children or not.
6) It’s revealed that repulsive excuse for hair on top of his head is really an alien parasite using him as a host body with one mission: Destroy earth from the top-down, one ignorant statement at a time.
We hope we never come to find out what would happen. We just know if he does win it’ll be a lot like 1940’s Germany except the leader won’t be just evil but stupid too. So to limit the chances of a trump presidency we must shut him up. How do we stop the constant stream of bull shit from coming out of his mouth? We’ll put a dick in it of course! Well a lollipop in the shape of a dick that is. SendDicksToDonald.com has one message: ‘Eat a dick, Donald Trump!’
How it works:
It’s so simple! It costs $9.99 per lollipop with free shipping (you were going to spend it on booze and drugs anyway). Once you’ve completed your order a lollipop dick will be sent anonymously on your behalf to his headquarters in New York City. Before you know it that dick will be covered head to toe in dicks, thanks to you!
Lollipop Dick - Sent to Donald Trump